Blue Bombers

So, okay, someone just used the term “fedora-wearing” as an insult (towards me). I donut understand. Peas explain.

Since my job as a delivery driver has me on the road for roughly 80% of the day on average, I listen to a lot of radio. No, not satellite radio or anything fancy like that. I’m talking good, old-fashioned ‘radio’. I switch between a few different stations. A couple pop/’hit’ music stations, a rock station, a classic (like Beethoven, Mozart, etc.), and a talk-radio station when I happen to stop for lunch, and want something a bit more mentally engaging to pay attention to.

Something that I’ve noticed quite often with a lot of songs, whether they be rap, hip-hop, pop, or what have you, is that the lyrics to many of the songs tell a bit of a story, 98% of the time pertaining to ‘love’. Now, that in and of itself annoys me, but the thing that interests me most about these songs is, how the lyrics seem to paint a picture that shows that it’s very, very easy to score a date/hookup/what have you.

For example, a lot of songs seem to have a ‘hookup story’ set up along the lines of this (paraphrased to save time)-

“I saw this pretty girl when I was out somewhere. I walked up to her, said I thought she was attractive. Then she hopped right into my car and now we’re a couple.”

Like it’s that easy. Just, boom! Some opening pleasantries between complete strangers were exchanged, now they’re all over each other and humping like rabbits all day, every day. Sorry, that’s not how the real world works. Though, not absolutely every song does that, of course. Some artists are actually quite honest with how long, and arduous, and tedious, and obnoxious it is to get someone to be ever slightly interested in you. Take, for example, the first two lines of lyrics from The Killers’ ‘Somebody Told Me’-

“Breaking my back just to know your name;
Seventeen tracks and I’ve had it with this game”

So, the man in the song has been trying to court this woman in the amount of time that seventeen whole tracks have played out in the club, and she hasn’t even given up her name. Let’s just say each song is about four minutes long. That’s over an hour of just trying to get her to take any sort of interest in him, and to no avail.

Now, that all may be a bit exaggerated, but it’s much more akin to how the world really works in regards to people ‘hooking up’. It’s quite a Herculean task to be able to approach someone who you have never met before in your life, and get them to drop their guard and take a genuine interest in you, especially in today’s world, where most people are egocentric, impatient, and have astronomically high expectations.

That’s why that, even if I didn’t have crippling anxiety that prevents me from even walking too close to a female around my own age, I wouldn’t even bother trying, anyway.

But yeah, in a nutshell, pop music lies about the quality and ease of real-life situations. But, we all knew that already. So I think we all wasted our time just now. Thoughts?

I’ve noticed a lot of new, unintelligent slang terms are starting to creep their way back into the social pipeline. I was speaking to a guy at work yesterday about the “challenges” of having your family on Facebook, and he asked me-

“You have any ratchet cousins on Facebook? I’ve got one that posts pictures of herself in her underwear all the time and thinks she’s hot or something. It’s fucking nasty.”

I had to pause the conversation and ask what the hell ‘ratchet’ meant. Who decided to just randomly change the definition of that word? It went from being a work-tool with linear rotary motion to being a ‘ghetto’ female. It probably originated from some stupid rap/pop/hip-hop song, just like all the other ‘urban’ slang words.

Anyway, please use the English language as intended. Using ‘ghetto’ slang makes you look like a fucking moron. Well, if you do use it, you probably already are. I won’t be acknowledging anyone that uses those kinds of words in everyday conversation anymore.